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So anyway, I guess when I first came here I thought that it would be so easy, that I would walk down the streets and bitches would be in heat in for my cock. Haha! boy was I wrong!
My first night out in Seoul I hung out with some other expats in Itaewon. We went to Gecko’s and Wolfhound, and I was really very unimpressed with the talent. Gecko’s reminded me of a white trash bar back home, complete with military tough guys, and bad music. Wolfhound was more like a Euro trash boys club—I was just sorry that I didn’t bring my rugby jersey and alcoholism with me. So looking for a place more “Korean” (in Itaewon its actually kinda hard). Not to knock those places too much, but they really weren’t what I was looking for in a pub. If I wanted to hang out with all guys, I’d join a soccer team. If I wanted to not get laid, I’d go to church. Another night in Itaewon my friend and I went to M1, some ritzy basement wine bar that made me reminiscent of New York. It was complete with the white leather couches, lounge pillows, over priced drinks, and its too hip to be cool dj ‘spinning’ the best dance music his gyopo friend could burn him on a mix CD. If I sound bitter or jaded, or pissed off, or mad, its because I associate M1 with the experience I am about to recall.
So as I sat at the bar in M1 talking to my friend, enjoying a 7,000won Filipino beer, I noticed that there was two pretty Korean girls sitting next to me. They were hard not to notice, they were so hot. One of them, the one sitting closest to me, had legs long as a mile and was proudly displaying them in a short short skirt. She was sitting on her barstool, shaking her head to the music and swaying the long wave of her brown hair. She was dancing in her seat like she could hardly contain herself, just grooving to the music in her own little world. It was a weeknight and there was hardly anyone in the place. So it wasn’t like anyone was really dancing or anything and it wasn’t like there was a real dance floor anyway. So I said, “It’s a shame there’s not a dance floor here, or you’d be able to dance”. I was just being nice, trying to talk to her…but what she said really shocked me.
She looked at her friend, then looked at me with this arrogant, snobbish look, with her nose just slightly up in air she asked, “Umm, do you know us?”
I couldn’t believe the attitude on this little trick. The fuckin’ nerve of her! Thinking she’s so hot that she could blow me off like that. I told my friend and we both cracked up laughing at her and her attitude. It’s something that my friend and I still joke about now. Every so often we’ll just say “Umm, do you know us?” and die laughing. It really was funny that she’d say something like that. I mean really, I was just trying to be nice and strike up a conversation with someone that I’m sharing some space with, but some girls here won’t have that.
I had heard about this element of Korean culture–this insular thinking of Koreans that prohibits them from speaking with strangers. Like in a bar or a club, they have to be introduced by someone that they know, otherwise they won’t talk to you. So yeah, my first attempt at talking to a girl in Korea and I got horribly shot down. Since then, I have managed to successfully chat up women that I just met, but it came with time and patience.
Another time I struck out was in Shinchon (not Shinchon…yeah, that’s what I said Shinchon, not Shinchon–if you live in Seoul you know what I’m talking about, the constant confusion between ?? and ?? which to the Western ear sound very similar). So anyway, I was in Shinchon (the one on the north side of the Han River, the one near Hongdae, and I was in this bar/club that moreso resembles a Canadian’s dream home. I was at this place called Mike’s Cabin. That atmosphere of Mike’s Cabin is more like a truck stop Canadian gay bar. Surprisingly, it’s a good place to meet Korean girls who might be interested in Western guys, that is of course if you can stomach the campy decor and the hordes of other lame ass white guys there sitting at tables drooling over the women. The DJ knows how to DJ and knows how to play a good variety of music from her mp3 collection, which says a lot more than what others in Seoul can do.
So anyway, shortly after the M1 “Umm do you know us?” shoot down, I bucked up and got back on the horse trying not to get knocked down. My friend Andre introduced me to the place. Andre’s a solid dude, he’s been in Korea for something like 5 years and he pretty much knows how the game is done here. Andre started talking to this girl, she was playing foosball with some Pakistani guy. Right after their game finished he grabbed me and said “We’re playing foosball!”
I love foosball, so it was no pain on my end. I was quickly introduced to the girl that Andre was talking to and her friend Monica. At first I thought Monica was tall for a Korean girl, but really it was just her high as fuck high heels. She was pretty good looking, long straight hair and bangs cut straight across her forehead as if her hair stylist cut along the straight edge of a bowl. She had tiny lips and produced an equally tiny smile as she spoke. Occasionally she’d look into her cell phone at her Korean/English dictionary to help her find the right word to say.

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