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At foosball, Monica and I were one team, and we were playing against Andre and his girl. This was a good way in, it got us talking and working together. It was sorta like a cute couple thing, and I quickly realized that Korean girls go gaga for that kind of cutesy couples shit. It makes sense, what with them loving couple t-shirts and all that lame crap. So I figured that if I could get a girl to do ‘cute couple’ shit with me just after meeting her, I could easily get her to do raunchy kinky couple sex shit with me later in bed– boy was I wrong again.
So I bought her a couple drinks and things were going well. Andre had said something that offended Monica’s friend and she wasn’t digging him anymore. Andre felt kinda ashamed or embarrassed or something, and he cut out and left. I was sticking with Monica for the long haul and hoping I could take her home with me that night. I don’t really live close Shinchon, so a cab was definitely in my future plans as Seoul believes in this retarded idea of closing subways at certain times (while public transportation in Seoul is pretty good, there’s a lot of things that Seoul could definitely learn from NYC).
So we were talking and dancing and drinking and everything was going well. I was just happy to actually be talking with a girl and not getting snubbed and to feel like I was back in the game. It’d been a while. She was a smart girl, and her English was pretty good, although her pronunciation was hard to understand. The fact that the speakers were loud and blaring music didn’t help things either. I was thinking things were going pretty well. Her friend was occupied with some other guy not that Andre was gone. They were dancing, we were dancing, and the DJ was playing some pretty good music.
Then out of nowhere, up walks some blonde-haired blue-eyed Adonis. He doesn’t look like he’s fluent in Korean, but he just starts belting it out. Monica’s friend was quite impressed. He had a thing for her alright. She seemed to forget the guy she was dancing with and we was all over this blondie who was actually from Sweden. Monica explained his situation to me, he’s a student studying here. Part of his studies meant that he had to study Korean full time, so this bastard’s fluent and picking up girls like its nothing, while I’m over here struggling, typing on some little ass keyboard looking up words in my cell phone!
This guy knew the Korean game and he knew it well. He had Monica’s friend crawling all over him, and I was just fudding around with Monica trying to think of how I could get her back to my place. I had nothing. I was like a fighter pilot trying to shake the Red Baron on my tail. I pivoted left, I pivoted right, I dove down and spun in a spiral, I pulled every maneuver I had in my book but nothing seemed to work against the enemy that I did not know.
I think that nothing would have gotten her to come home with me that night. But that didn’t stop me from blaming the Swedish guy. The Swede fucking prick bastard (who I have actually run into in Seoul quite a few times–I can never forget his arrogant macho face) didn’t really help things. He was being really super aggressive with Monica’s friend. At one he just grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him and just started making out with her.
Then Swede-boy starts saying they need to go to Hongdae, that he has friends there to meet up with. So Monica says “I have to go” to me, and I’m confused–like what the fuck does Swede-boy have that I don’t have? Why not invite me along? Why? Cuz Swede-boy’s a pushy aggressive dickhead?
( Note: I would later discover that Swede-boy’s pushy aggressive attitude was something that was not only accepted and tolerated by Korean women, but also something they enjoyed and looked for in the opposite sex, but more on that later).
Yes, so that’s exactly what happened. Swede-boy pulled her by the hand right outta the club and Monica followed her friend. Off they went to Hongdae, and I was just glad that I got her phone number in time… I remember calling it just to make sure that it was real. I left there feeling like such a fucking loser. I look back on that night as being a night of desperation and loneliness, but also one where I learned a great deal about Korean women and how to pick them up.
I left Mike’s Cabin alone, with nothing to show for myself but horrible buzz and a raging hard-on hungry to get laid. This led me to my first experience in a Korean brothel/whorehouse/massage parlor (whatever the fuck you want to call them)…but as this post is already close to 2,500 words, and I love a cliffhanger, I think I’ll leave this post just how it is. Besides, the brothel story deserves its own separate post, so I’ll leave that for your anticipation.
I left New York because I was bored. In a city that never sleeps, the waking life gets old fast. My life was alright there. I had my family and friends. Good lifelong friends, friends I’ve known for 10+ years. I had a job, and a good education. I had a nice apartment with tall ceilings, hard wood floors, two tall windows with beautiful street views. I lived in a relatively quiet neighborhood. I had lots of girls, but I was still bored.
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2 University studies on prostitution sprang from the American trend to gender studies in the 1980s. The studies emphasized the prostitutes themselves, their living and working conditions as well as their relationship with their clients, yet revealing little or no information on these clients (Khin 1980; Truong 1990; Hall 1992; Seabrook 1996). Toward the end of the 1980s, with the onset of AIDS, numerous studies and reports devoted entire pages to describing the social, economic and cultural profile of the prostitutes and their role in disease transmission. Yet only a few lines of these reports concern the clients even though they are more numerous than the prostitutes, thus deliberately minimizing their importance. However, considering only Thailand and the potential foreign clientele, Franck Michel points out that of the nearly nine million tourists who visited this country in the year 2000, 65 to 70% of them are men (Michel 2003: 22). And there is a strong probability that most of these male foreign visitors, whether they come from Asia, Europe, America, the Middle East or Africa, offer one or more tariffed sexual relations, following all those who have devoted themselves to it throughout the history of the country: Chinese coolies in the 19th century, American soldiers on leave during the Vietnam War, local customers very numerous, sex-tours operators that forged a solid reputation of easy and cheap lust.
3 Nevertheless, two authors, Erik Cohen (1982, 1986, 1993) and Cleo Odzer (1994) have written about the relationship between Thai prostitutes and their foreign clients. These studies are the culmination of a long-term field study in Patpong, Bangkok. Given the subject of the study both authors put a certain emphasis on the “consumers” and describe some of the clients who, thousands of miles from home, immerse themselves in the atmosphere of Bangkok’s go-go bars and have affairs and torrid relationships which are often even more complicated and ambiguous due to cultural and linguistic differences. Clients are not theorists and usually do not work on thesis dissertations or publish scholarly articles. However, some authors of guidebooks specializing on night-life have to present themselves as clients and experts on prostitution to be reasonably credible, firsthand material by sex tourists have been made available to researchers, and, more recently, interviews of deceived sex tourists have been collected and published in Thailand, but act more as a warning for future foreign customers.
Fig.1. A Bangkok map for womanizing German tourists.
Are mentioned girly bars, massage parlours, prostitution houses.
4 A few clients have published books, although they usually do not introduce themselves as plain customers. Rory O’Merry, the author of My wife in Bangkok , is said to be a “freelance photojournalist” and his story is set in Patpong, soi Nana, soi Cow Boy, Thermae Coffee Shop and Pattaya, the most famous places for sex tourists in Thailand, it includes about fifty photos (O’Merry 1990). O’Merry met Dang, a bar-girl working at an open-air bar opposite the Grace Hotel in soi Nana, the very first day of his stay in Bangkok, and a week later moved in with her in a “bungalow” of Sukhumvit Road. For about three months O’Merry had the opportunity to mix with many prostitutes and customers of the sex tourism sector.
5 “Hello my big big honey!” Love letters to Bangkok bar girls and their revealing interviews by Dave Walker and Richard S. Ehrlich, first published in the early 1990s, has known as many as eight printings, the lastest one in 2001. It includes interviews with a dozen bar girls and three bar owners (English, American and Thai) but the major part of the book consists in a selection of 71 letters sent to bar girls by foreign clients. These unintentional and unsolicited contributions by clients are particularly precious.
6 Along these same lines, without any claim to academic legitimacy, a work entitled Love, Sex and Trust. Romantic Adventures in Thailand was published in 2000. This book recounts fourteen stories in interview form, each one more tragic than the previous one, about Western clients misled, betrayed, or bankrupted by the greedy bar girls with whom they fell in love. The authors of this work, Morgan Lake and Kristian Schirbel, both well versed in the customs and people of Thailand, wrote this book as a warning to Western travelers looking for love and unaware of the vast cultural differences which can lead to many misunderstandings and even serious disappointment. Although these rather naive European men are not said to be representative of the sex tourists visiting Thailand every year, their interviews indisputably turn them into victims rather than exploiters (Lake & Schirbel 2000).
7 Asian men seem too shy to write about their encounters with prostitutes. Fiction literature is an interesting case, but the autobiographical part is never clear.
8 Two other papers focus also on men as customers in tourist-related prostitution in Thailand (Bishop & Robinson 1998, Thorbek 2002). Bishop analyses men’s travel reports on the Internet and show how these men are alienated from their own sexuality but also from society in general through their obsession with the Internet. Thorbek argues that the men combine old notions on race, class and gender with very modern conditions of life and that the sex tourist becomes an image of postmodern man. The increase in the male demand for paid sex is logical in the sense that privileges which were formerly restricted by class, race and gender are now available to everybody as there is no need to be rich to exploit women in the Third World. Regarding the customers and their relationships with prostitutes, much has been written about the so-called “open-ended” relationships in some prostitution spots mainly in Thailand.
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